Her group chat was breaking us—until respect got a seat at the table

It started as “harmless memes.” Her friends roasted my clothes, my bike, even my job title in their group chat—and those jokes leaked into our dates. I laughed along, then stopped laughing. Every fight ended with, “They’re just protective.” I felt small and reactive, and we were inches from a breakup.

A college senior sent me a reel of Pt. Dayaram Joshi: “Don’t fight people—repair the boundary.” I booked a consult. Pandit Ji didn’t ask me to attack anyone. He asked us to try a short, steady window where he’d hold the process and we’d make two clean moves: first, no trial by committee—our issues stay in our room; second, respect protocol—no insults disguised as jokes, and if someone crosses it, my partner speaks first.

Midweek, everything shifted. She told her friends, “He’s not content; he’s my person.” One messaged me to apologize; another kept quiet and the problem solved itself. We created a small ritual—one hour each weekend with phones away—so we set the tone, not the group chat.

By the end, I wasn’t dodging punchlines. I was in a relationship again. Daya Sir’s line that stayed: “Love needs an audience of two.”