From “bahu, adjust” to “come, sit with us”

After our wedding, I moved into my husband’s family home. No big fights—just a hundred small cuts. Comments about my schedule, my food, even how I folded bedsheets. My husband stood in the middle, trying to keep everyone happy, and I felt like a guest in my own house. One evening after another tense dinner, I told him, “Maybe we should live separately.” He went quiet. That scared me more than anger.

A colleague’s aunt had worked with Pt. Dayaram Joshi and said, “He doesn’t create drama; he brings dignity.” I found his page on Instagram and booked a call. Daya Sir listened fully—no rush, no judgment. Then he said, “We will protect everyone’s face and still protect your marriage.”

He began a short, focused Yagya with a sankalpa for harmony at home. Our side had three disciplines:

• No triangles—no complaining about one family member to another. If there’s an issue, speak directly or wait for the right time.

• Present a simple home plan together: shared chores, a quiet hour for us as a couple, and a weekly tea where no ‘issues’ are discussed—only family time.

• No exit threats. We stay, steady and respectful, while the process runs.

  
  

Midway through, something shifted. My mother-in-law, who had been sharp with me, asked about my work without that edge. My father-in-law began saving me a seat at tea. Daya Sir spoke once with my husband privately and once with my in-laws—not to “convince” them, but to understand their fears. “Respect is not a favor,” he told them. “It is the oxygen of a home.”

By the closing day of the process, the house felt lighter. The weekly tea became real laughter. My husband and I stopped fighting in whispers. One evening, my mother-in-law tapped the chair beside her and said, “Come, sit with us.” It sounds small, but it felt like a door unlocking.

We didn’t move out. We moved in—properly. Boundaries stayed, so did warmth. Dayaram ji didn’t make villains or heroes. He gave us a way to live together without bruising each other’s dignity. That changed everything.